'Enter without so much as knocking'
Memento, homo, quia pulvis es, et in pulverem reverteris.
Blink, blink. HOSPITAL. SILENCE.
Ten days old, carried in the front door in his
mother's arms, first thing he heard was
Bobby Dazzler on Channel 7:
Hello, hello hello all you lucky people and he
really was lucky because it didn't mean a thing
to him then...
A year or two to settle in and
get acquainted with the set-up; like every other
well-equipped smoothly-run household, his included
one economy-size Mum, one Anthony Squires-
Coolstream-Summerweight Dad, along with two other kids
straight off the Junior Department rack.
When Mom won the
Luck's-A-Fortch Tricky-Tune Quiz she took him shopping
in the good-as-new station-wagon (£ 495 dep. at Reno's).
Beep, beep. WALK. DON'T WALK. TURN
LEFT. NO PARKING. WAIT HERE. NO
SMOKING. KEEP CLEAR/OUT/OFF GRASS. NO
BREATHING EXCEPT BY ORDER. BEWARE OF
THIS. WATCH OUT FOR THAT. My God (beep)
the congestion here just gets (beep)
worse every day, now what the (beep beep) does
that idiot think he's doing (beep beep and BEEP).
However, what he enjoyed most of all was when they
went to the late show at the local drive-in, on a clear night
and he could see (beyond the fifty-foot screen where
giant faces forever snarled screamed or make
incomprehensible and monstrous love) a pure
unadulterated fringe of sky, littered with stars
no-one had got around to fixing up yet: he'd watch them
circling about in luminous groups like kids at the circus
who never go quite close enough to the elephant to get kicked.
Anyway, pretty soon he was old enough to be
realistic like every other godless
money-hungry back-stabbing miserable
so-and-so, and then it was goodbye stars and the soft
cry in the corner when no-one was looking because
I'm telling you straight, Jim, it's Number One every time
for this chicken, hit wherever you see a head and
kick whoever's down, well thanks for a lovely
evening Clare, it's good to get away from it all
once in a while, I mean it's a real battle all the way
and a man can't help but feel a little soiled, himself,
at times, you know what I mean?
Now take it easy
on those curves, Alice, for God's sake,
I've had enough for one night, with that Clare Jessup,
hey, ease up, will you, watch it -
Probity & Sons, Morticians,
did a really first-class job on his face
(everyone was very pleased) even adding a
healthy tan he'd never had, living, gave him back for keeps
the old automatic smile with nothing behind it,
winding the whole show up with a
nice ride out to the underground metropolis
permanent residentials, no parking tickets, no taximeters
ticking, no Bobby Dazzlers here, no down payments,
nobody grieving over halitosis
flat feet shrinking gums falling hair.
Six feet down nobody interested.
Blink, blink. CEMETERY. Silence.
'Americanized'
She loves him… and what small child could deny
the beneficence of that motherhood beamed across
the laminex breakfast-table-top each day?
‘Shoosh… shoosh…’ her fat friendly features say
whenever a vague passing spasm of loss
troubles him in his high-chair, makes him cry.
He loves him… but will not allow him out.
‘The streets are full of nasty cars and men,’
she whispers, popping him on his plastic pot.
His eyes grow round, his bowels quickly knot,
he strains to be a good boy, not knowing then
it takes years of training to bring that about…
‘Today,’ she tells him, putting on her hat
(she’s off to nurse an invalid called the World)
‘Today, I’ll let you play with Mummy’s things.’
The toys that mark his short life – christening,
Birthday, Christmas – into a corner hurled…
Mummy’s things! What could compare with that?
Crammed in a carton on the nursery-floor
are the varied treasures Mummy’s world contains
from Pepsi-Cola figurines to Spam
(‘I think young, think big, therefore I am’)
chewing-gum, hot dogs, electronic brains
- what child of simple orgins could want more?
The afternoon passes, evening comes and still
he plays alone, hearing the traffic surge
beyond the house and children scream and run
Along the street (it must be rather fun!)
the nursery is in darkness – on the verge
of terror he heard those formidable
Footsteps approaching, suddenly the thin
membrane of reason lets in fear at last
to beat with bats’ wings through the velvet room…
The door-knob turns, he sees her figure loom,
he tries to run, her large hands hold him fast…
She loves him… and the frightening fact sinks in.
‘Abandonment of Autos’
